Recently it was suggested that perhaps posting an example of what not to do when applying to EO would be a good way to deter some subpar applications. While I sifted through some of the truly abysmal applications we've gotten in the past month, it occurred to me that while amusing it is to poke fun at some of the ridiculous and truly insane things people have submitted to us, you, the applicant, might be better served with an explicit listing of common missteps and how to avoid them.

We want to like you; we just don't know you.
Contrary to popular belief, we like people. People are fun. They hang out, kill some internet dragons, joke around a bit... it's good times. The catch is that we have no idea who you are, and the application is your first and potentially only impression. If I'm going to come away from it wanting to stab you with a fork, you probably are not going to be finding a home at EO. So treat the application how you would meeting someone new. I don't need to see all your crazy up front; I don't need to know all the nitty gritty of how you and your last GM got into a fight cause you hit on his wife. While you may feel the need to put forth your side of the story on a previous disagreement, there are always ways to do it respectfully. Put your best foot forward.

Spell check. Please.
It is not hard. Failure to do so really shows that you don't care. For instance my browser here has corrected three misspellings for me already; it's almost passive these days to just spell check. We don't expect you to be writing an English paper, but if what you submit only roughly approximates the English language, it is genuinely annoying to read. Please also consider the GM is an English teacher; people who fail to spell check cause him to drink more heavily. For the sake of Zaniel's liver (and thus the rest of our sanity), do it.

Our raid times are pretty much non-negotiable.
Things happen. Stuff comes up. Sometimes it'll become a chronic thing. But if we know ahead of time that you can only make two days or that you're going to be two hours late every day, this isn't going to work out for us or you. Be honest with us and yourself on this. If you can't make our raid times, there's no point in applying to raid with us. It is really that simple. Now if you make/are friends with folks in guild and are really just looking for a guild tag and to hang out with said friends, maybe do a pickup raid with us once or twice a week, the correct avenue is to have one of them bring you in as a friend rank, not an application.

System specs are there for a reason.
This is on the application simply because we have had people playing the game on real dinosaurs that could not handle the game. We don't expect a top of the line rig, just a functioning one. We want to know what sort of internet connection you're running on, because if you're constantly going to be disconnecting, we all lose. Now, we don't expect you to inherently be tech savvy. There are plenty of people who are great people and good at this game who couldn't pick a graphics card out of a lineup. That's fine. If you have any questions on how to find this information out, however, your best bet is to ask. Ask that guy you know who's good with that whole computer thing or even just one of us. Knowing you don't know and responding to it by figuring it out says good things about you.

Gear score is dumb.
No really. It's a terrible metric that provides us with no useful information. We're going to check your gear for more than just the item level. I am currently filtering it as a spam term; this means unless Blur decides to rescue your app for some convincing reason, nobody will likely even read it if you include the words "gear score". It's a running joke amongst the raid; please don't make yourself the punchline.

We don't like loot mercenaries.
If your goal is purely the pursuit of phat purple pixels, this is not the way to go. Recruits in particular are low man on the totem pole for loot; don't expect it right away. If it is clear from your application that you are solely looking to pick up epics and then likely disappear on us, we're just going to skip to step two.

Professions are good. You should have them.
While we do not require utmost optimized professions for raiding, they are a definite plus. No professions or dual gathering professions is typically not a good sign to us; it signals minimal effort and investment in that character. If you are in the process of leveling a new profession at the time of your application, just let us know.

If we come back to you with a list of things to fix, fix them. Also figure out why they needed to be fixed.
An off gem or two is not a grievous sin, but it is something you can check on before applying. Hell, talking up one of our raiding [your class here] and getting them to gear check you and going over any finer points of the class/spec ahead of an app typically results in a favorable impression when we ask them about you. It's a win-win type of sucking up because it shows effort and a desire to improve. So long as the problems aren't gaping, we're typically willing to work with you on small things. Everyone has to take their first step into more serious raiding once, and while we prefer folks with experience and a good handle on theorycrafting, we aren't averse to trying out someone who has invested the time and willing to keep improving. We have a number of members who were very much "projects" when they first joined who currently do quite well.

Parses are good.
And while those coming from more casual guilds may not have some laying around, those of you applying from raiding guilds probably do. We like them. It gives us an idea of what types of fights you excel or struggle at. Both are useful information to us.

We take time to sort through apps. Silence after a week implies no or maybe.
It is unrealistic for us to respond to every application we get with reasons for rejection. It is not unusual for a "yes" response to take about a week to a week and a half. It will typically come via the email you gave us. Frequently we'll want to talk with you first, ask questions, let you ask questions, etc. Silence after a week means there is not currently a space for you in our roster, though it doesn't inherently mean this will be true in another week. There are a number of really good players in EO, and we do get some truly great applications. Sometimes you end up being number two or three on a list while we give the folks ahead of you a try. If this is the case and a spot does open up, we'll typically contact you to see if you're still interested. If you feel you will likely be interested in the longer term, make a note of it in your application, it helps. If you have any questions as to why your application was rejected specifically, please contact the appropriate role officer (Kayleefrye for healing, Yunyuuzhan for tanking, Royalite for ranged DPS, Elbmin for melee DPS) as they'll be the ones to give you an idea of what to fix or simply that there's just no room for another [your class here] at the moment regardless of what we thought of your application. I repeat: it is not feasible to respond to every denied application in a personal, direct fashion.

If we want to talk to you directly to follow up on an application, that's good.
It means you stood out to us. Relatively few applicants get this far. We're going to be paying attention to how you take criticisms (because you haven't met Kahuna yet). Setting up a time to talk directly to the officer(s) who want to chat in a timely fashion reflects very positively on you.

Applying is a relatively easy process. So take the time to make a solid impression. Truly good applications can make us try and look for a way to fit a person into the raid that we previously wouldn't have considered. Truly abysmal ones make us reject classes we have a high demand for overnight. What I've listed aren't particularly taxing (in fact most are just common sense that sometimes needs reminding), so avoid them ahead of time. No sense in making me think you're an idiot Fury Warlock just cause you rushed filling out a form cause you were excited, no?

Alright, got all that? Ready to actually get down to business? Let's do it.